Barty Party Fears

Poor Australia.

Now that Ash has taken out the French Open,the country is bracing for her sweet innocent self to transform into a ruthless, arrogant, vain monster.


“Nothing will change,” Ash and her coaches continue to assure us.

We’ll see.

Nick Kyrgios and Bernard Tomic – Do you see what you did?

I’m sure she will remain as lovely as she is folks.

There’s a reason it’s called bad sportsMANship…

That was totally sexist, but necessary??

hahaha poor Australia.


Mutual rude-ness

Do you ever notice when your out – or I’ m sure you’ve done it too – and one persons phone rings, so they answer and then the other person immediately grabs their phone.

Like they’ve suddenly been granted permission to check it.


Almost like a mutual rude-ness really isn’t it.

Or like a “Yea ok, I see you’ve got friends.

“Well so do I.

“In fact, there are three text messages, seven Facebook notifications and nine new instagram follower requests.

“So touche buddy, touche.”

And then the person gets off the phone and the one who picked theirs up (no doubt to find no notifications, yet persisted and scrolled through the latest social media feeds, learning about new home owners and smashed fitness goals) takes just that little bit longer to put their phone back down, just to keep the upper hand.

But really, what else do you do?

Look around you like a person in a daze who is perfectly content they are being ignored by their dinner date – and happy enough within themselves to enjoy their own company?

Go to the bar, even though you’ve just opened a bottle of wine?

Go to the toilet even though you’ve got a horrendous playsuit on that is only worth tackling if you actually have to go?

Could you imagine going to dinner with no phone? Because a long time ago, that was all there was when you went out.

Company. Smiles. Discussions. Bonding. Laughter.

And good food if you ordered right.

And wine of course.

Society today…. I tell ya. *rolls eyes*

Anti-social media

I really don’t like it when I’ve messaged someone – via text or social media- and they don’t respond.

And sure, it’s OK if people are busy.

But 9 times out of 10 they’ve ignored me, yet managed to post random selfies from some mountain they’ve climbed or what they are about to eat.

Image result for selfie

Because it’s much more important that their class of 2005 House Captain and one of their husbands colleagues knows what they are having for lunch before they respond to you.

Newsflash: It’s not.


Australian political party seeks Queensland leader

*Must only use $1 bills for candy or soda purchases and have the ability to refrain from stroking women with little or no clothing

Today’s headlines claim One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has stormed from a press conference after answering questions about her Queensland leader being forced to resign over leaked strip club footage.

Steve Dickson and One Nation leader Senator Pauline Hanson speak to the media

In case you missed it – her party’s QLD leader Steve Dickson handed in his resignation last night after he was caught on camera in a lewd video in a US strip club appearing to grope and proposition exotic dancers and make racist remarks.

Basically, he was being your average male at a strip club. Which is not ok when you are a political leader so much as it is stupid.

In the footage aired by A Current Affair last night, the married 56-year-old says at one point, “I’ve done more Asian than I know what to do with”.

A rough and racist remark but considering he is a One Nation  leader are we surprised?

And if we are criticizing about racism, isn’t it Australian law that politicians have to be 100 per cent Australian? A law followed and enforced by all political parties and their leaders.

Anyways, speaking to reporters from her home this morning, Ms Hanson said she was shocked and disappointed at the vision she watched of Steve Dickson.

“I am both a mother of three boys and the only female leader of a political party in this country. I wouldn’t tolerate my own children behaving this way towards women,” Ms Hanson said.

Newsflash Ms Hanson – one day they most definitely will.

Image result for bachelor party

Speaking again of her employee, Ms Hanson said she wasn’t going to judge him any further.

“It is a family matter. I never got involved with Barnaby Joyce’s issue, or Cheryl Kernot, or the other politicians. And don’t forget that Kevin Rudd himself visited a strip club.”

I don’t think anyone will every forget that…poor K Rudd.

And then this morning, One Nation’s NSW leader Mark Latham briefly addressed his colleague’s resignation on Sunrise.

“He has no future in politics anymore and Pauline Hanson has made that crystal clear. There is not much more you can say about it, is there? It is pretty clear cut,” he said.

More criticism has followed his bluntness, but isn’t he right? It’s happened and the leader has resigned. It’s time to move on.

Mr Dickson did the most noble thing he could under the circumstances and I think that deserves some commending. His behavior was appalling but he has apologised for his behaviour and said it was not a “true reflection” of himself.

“The footage shown does not reflect the person I am. It shows a person who was drunk and not in control of his actions and I take full responsibility for allowing that to happen,” Mr Dickson said.

We’ve all been drunk and out of control before. And not many people would actually take responsibility for their actions after such events.

Image result for drunk

Then again, not many people are state political leaders. But still, give the man a break for acting like a normal person while on holidays. A normal racist and derogatory idiot, but nevertheless it’s also typical drunk male behaviour.

He also immediately told his wife Debbie the day after he visited the strip club and Mrs Dickson is standing by her husband.

That’s true love right there. Or perhaps that’s what a man on a triple digit salary can get away with. I mean, a girls gotta eat. And them Jimmy Choo shoes don’t pay for themselves.


An idiotic accusation

“Someone is making me out to be an absolute idiot,” says Alex Nation on Bachelor in Paradise.

Because Bill has lied his face off to get into her pants. And it’s worked.

Is it Bill who’s made her look like an idiot though?

Last I checked, it was Alex -mother of one- who signed up to be on a reality TV show where she competed with other women to win the heart of one bloke she apparently fell in love with at first hand shake.

And then they had a mud bath on national television.

And then she ditched him and pursued a relationship with a woman she played AFLW with.

And then she returned to reality TV and seems to be the only person in the world who can’t see past Bill’s fake personality.

But it’s someone else who’s making you out to be an idiot, isn’t it Alex.


A world of feigning confidence

One of my friends hit up a guy she dated many years back for a small favour. They were never in a serious relationship because they lived in separate states but they were pretty damn close for a couple of years and cared a lot about one another.

Hence the favour request I guess.

The man who’s now married turned around and told her he wasn’t allowed to speak to her – strict orders by the missus.

Settle down mate. She didn’t ask you to put your tongue down her throat..

Are you a man or a chicken?

Image result for chicken

How about you tell your wife she’s a friend you dated years back, there were no longer any feelings there (why else would be have gotten married. Duh) and because your a nice person and can help a friend, you will.

This makes me mad at both people in the relationship.

The woman is completely insecure and taking it out on her partner isn’t fair. If your concerned your partner may be tempted to see another woman, why are you even together.

“It’s not you I don’t trust honey. It’s her,” she says.


If you trust him, there shouldn’t be an issue.

What I also hate is that you can jump on the woman’s social media pages and she appears to be nothing but confident and happy and loved up. Yet no one can see what is going on behind the scenes and that she is petrified her boyfriend will fall out of love with her.

Image result for happy couples selfies

It’s actually really sad and goes to show why social media influencing shouldn’t be a thing. Anyone can influence others regardless of the reality of the situation or product they are endorsing.

So my friend had to turn to a stranger for the favour and is now with child.

I’m joking of course.

If this was what she was after she wouldn’t have hit up a chicken for the request.

A Current attempt to get an audience

I watched A Current Affair last night – because apparently Mick the farmer was getting a makeover- and was really annoyed at one of the main stories.

Toplace Construction owner Jean Nassif posted a video on social media of his wife Nissy receiving a bright yellow supercar he bought her a few weeks ago.

Image result for Nassif yellow

Good on the bloke, for making such a purchase for his wife. And of course you’re going to post your new car on social media. Most people will post their new sneakers on social media.

Meanwhile, owners who purchased apartments in Mr Nassif’s new Castle Hill Atmosphere complex in Sydney are pissed because of the way he’s spending his money despite a poor quality of finishes and outstanding defects they are experiencing.

More specifically, Bruce and Candal Pattern paid almost a million dollars for a two-bedroom unit in the complex and told A Current Affair that the place was short of their expectations.

How high are their expectations? – Pun intended.

Image result for Castle Hill Atmosphere complex

“He gave us inferior apartments and she’s driving around in a banana Lamborghini, yeah I feel like I’ve been mistreated, totally mistreated.”

Let’s take a moment to look at the photo again.

Such mistreatment.

If Mr and Mrs Pattern can afford one of those apartments in the first place, I have very little sympathy for them.

I also think they can afford to fix a crack in the kitchen bench. Or to wait a while for the repairs. Go to Europe for a few weeks or something.

Most new home owners experience problems as soon as they move in. It’s called life. You hit up the relevant parties, wait out the repairs and get on with it. Most people would work in the meantime too. I can only assume Mr and Mrs Pattern are out of degustations and massage treatments to try.

Mr Nassif agreed to do an interview with A Current Affair but cancelled when he was advised of the topics to be discussed.

Of course he did. I don’t think anyone would agree to be hounded on national television for buying their wife a car.

Shouldn’t new home owners have inspected their properties before forking out a million bucks too? Or do they have that much money, they don’t care?

I mean, I don’t even buy a full cider that’s on tap without trying it first.

Anyways, despite the fact Mr Nassif declined the interview,  A Current Affair approached him on the street anyways.

And of course, when he didn’t want to talk to them, he’s come across as some terrible and rude bloke who has horribly mistreated innocent people.

“A Beast” apparently.

Image result for jean Nassif current affair

Funnily enough, Mr Nassif told reporter Steve Marshall that he “loved him” and said the Atmosphere complex would win an award.

I think I love Mr Nassif. And I think next time I’ll stick to Home and Away.

Oh, and Mike’s ‘makeover’ was just a woman – who managed to give her interior design business a good plug – turning his bed around to make room for two bedside tables.

That was it. Then they went to the Gympie pub and had a beer and one of the 70 year old male locals hit on Mike.

But he’s still single. Although that bloke would have been a step up from Jess.

Pauline, Pauline, Pauline…

Someone should probably tell Ms Hanson that sometimes it’s ok to be quiet.

Image result for pauline hanson

And it’s not to late to grow her hair out, dye it jet black change her name and start her life again.

She could be a LNP supporter who owns a pizza shop.

Just has to ensure she serves all people who walk into the store regardless of their cultural background or religious beliefs and no one will ever know.

Otherwise it could be a bit sus, no matter how jet black her hair is actually dyed.

Just an idea.

An invalid case study

This just in on Channel 10’s The Project – Minimum wage is simply too low.


True or false? Probably true.

Their case study however, a security guard named Darcy who looked like he was in his 20’s. This bloke complained about earning $800 a week off $18 an hour, after a 40 hour week

He says he has to pull 50 -60 hours a week just to get by.

On the weeks he works 36-40 hours Darcy says he struggles to pay rent. Are you living at The Ritz?


$800 isn’t enough for one bloke with no dependants for one week?

Perhaps he forgot to mention a smashed avo addiction.

When the project ran the idea by him, that the government boost minimum wage he says…

“That could allow me to have one extra day off, and I could go see my parents.”

Sure Darcy. You’re going to see your parents when you get a day off work mate.

I call bull shit.



Real Estate depressionists…

Serious question – Is being a real estate agent a soul depleting job or something? Or are rentals just a pain in the ass for them? Every single agent I’ve dealt with could not be more unhelpful.

There is an exception, and that’s my agent in tiny Bordertown where they are happy folk who enjoy life because they’ve grown up in the country. They make time for other people and genuinely want to help where they can.

Image result for real estate agent angry

But honestly, every other agent I’ve contacted in regards to a rental property, whether it’s a request to view it, or for more information has been useless and had terrible communication.

Not only this, but it’s almost as if they are going out of their way not to help me.

So I wonder, are rentals their version of perhaps what broccoli is to kids – Something yucky that’s on their plate, but can be left until last.

And when they eventually get to it, they chew it slowly and with a horrid look on their faces which is mirrored with a stroppy attitude. They are only doing it because they have to.

Because otherwise there is no desert – aka they can’t delete the emails if they keep coming through.

And if you are interested in a property, they will keep coming through.

Newsflash – You decided to be a real estate agent. Be one. Or be as rude as you like but at least respond. I can deal with crappy customer service because at least at the end of the day they still make you your coffee. But you guys…you just ignore us for no reason at all.

If you don’t like your job I’m pretty sure Masterchef applications are now open. It helps if you’ve lost a limb or been raised by wolves.

But regardless, if you are miserable please apply.

Image result for real estate agent funny

This guy obviously does not exist. Unless this was taken in little ole Bordertown. But looking at that street number, I can’t imagine it was.