Tutorial 3: Sex Appeal

Is there something in the Barista training 101 manual that states they must be tall and dark with a surprisingly sexy moustache? Perhaps right after the part that teaches them how to be adoringly friendly with the ability to make anyone, they’ve grinded beans for feel like the most important person in the world.

To the point, you think you’ve got a shot, if you’re a woman or a man. That’s how good they are.

Smiling barista holding a coffee cup

Or is it just me?

I also feel like barista’s are the only ones who can totally own the mo. Other men can easily be described as creepy. But throw a denim apron, coffee machine and carton of milk in front of him and he’s Chris Hemsworth.

I wonder if it legitimately is in the manual, so it minimises unnecessary complaints. I’d think twice about asking for some extra milk in my coffee when the cup is half full of froth for the sake of not inconveniencing the tall attractive male. Especially if I think I’ve got a shot. Don’t want to appear to be high-maintenance now do I.

But more so, I’m talking the complaints where they really are not problems at all, but drinkers feel entitled to raise an issue to maintain some sort of coffee snob image. Or to highlight they have switched to a dairy-free milk.

“Is this on almond?” she says, as she takes a glance at her Lorna Jane dressed girlfriend to see if she is paying attention.

She’s not. She’s hash-tagging #lifeiscoffe #blessed #lovinglife #activemondays #cameltoeundies #husbandischeatingonme

Ok, those last couple of hash tags are not likely. But sometimes a lonely bitter blogger who hates men has got to throw her two cents in.

No one listens anyway, unless it’s on Twitter.

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