Pauline, Pauline, Pauline…

Someone should probably tell Ms Hanson that sometimes it’s ok to be quiet.

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And it’s not to late to grow her hair out, dye it jet black change her name and start her life again.

She could be a LNP supporter who owns a pizza shop.

Just has to ensure she serves all people who walk into the store regardless of their cultural background or religious beliefs and no one will ever know.

Otherwise it could be a bit sus, no matter how jet black her hair is actually dyed.

Just an idea.

An invalid case study

This just in on Channel 10’s The Project – Minimum wage is simply too low.

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True or false? Probably true.

Their case study however, a security guard named Darcy who looked like he was in his 20’s. This bloke complained about earning $800 a week off $18 an hour, after a 40 hour week

He says he has to pull 50 -60 hours a week just to get by.

On the weeks he works 36-40 hours Darcy says he struggles to pay rent. Are you living at The Ritz?

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$800 isn’t enough for one bloke with no dependants for one week?

Perhaps he forgot to mention a smashed avo addiction.

When the project ran the idea by him, that the government boost minimum wage he says…

“That could allow me to have one extra day off, and I could go see my parents.”

Sure Darcy. You’re going to see your parents when you get a day off work mate.

I call bull shit.

 

 

Real Estate depressionists…

Serious question – Is being a real estate agent a soul depleting job or something? Or are rentals just a pain in the ass for them? Every single agent I’ve dealt with could not be more unhelpful.

There is an exception, and that’s my agent in tiny Bordertown where they are happy folk who enjoy life because they’ve grown up in the country. They make time for other people and genuinely want to help where they can.

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But honestly, every other agent I’ve contacted in regards to a rental property, whether it’s a request to view it, or for more information has been useless and had terrible communication.

Not only this, but it’s almost as if they are going out of their way not to help me.

So I wonder, are rentals their version of perhaps what broccoli is to kids – Something yucky that’s on their plate, but can be left until last.

And when they eventually get to it, they chew it slowly and with a horrid look on their faces which is mirrored with a stroppy attitude. They are only doing it because they have to.

Because otherwise there is no desert – aka they can’t delete the emails if they keep coming through.

And if you are interested in a property, they will keep coming through.

Newsflash – You decided to be a real estate agent. Be one. Or be as rude as you like but at least respond. I can deal with crappy customer service because at least at the end of the day they still make you your coffee. But you guys…you just ignore us for no reason at all.

If you don’t like your job I’m pretty sure Masterchef applications are now open. It helps if you’ve lost a limb or been raised by wolves.

But regardless, if you are miserable please apply.

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This guy obviously does not exist. Unless this was taken in little ole Bordertown. But looking at that street number, I can’t imagine it was.

 

 

DNA don’t know me too well

DNA testing kit on the market now is claimed to be able to determine your best diet from a mouth swab.

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Grocery shoppers can basically have take them to the store, take a swab on the spot and then shop based on these results.

 

 

I’d rather shop based on my emotions.

And things that are delicious.

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My boyfriend didn’t break up with my DNA. And my DNA doesn’t menstruate.

And kale should be left on trees, or in the ground or wherever it comes from.

And DNA is for finding Dad’s and solving crimes.

Nightmares don’t include Macca’s

A Boys’ Airport Nightmare. Really? Was it though?

A Queensland mother has gone to the media after her nine-year-old son had to sleep in an airport storeroom without her knowing where he was when a Virgin Australia flight was diverted.

Katie Meredith said her son, John, spent last Thursday night at Melbourne Airport with two other unaccompanied minors when their Brisbane to Sydney flight landed in the Victorian capital.

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He had Macca’s for dinner, build a fort and played on an iPad with two other kids.

What a nightmare.

Where are the parents of the other children? Perhaps they are normal people who don’t seek attention.

This happened over the Grand Prix weekend, so Virgin have said all accommodation was booked out.

Their argument is pretty legitimate. They can’t exactly kick out guests who have paid for rooms because a child has been put on a flight without guardians.

It was a significant weather event. An unforeseen circumstance. These are the risks you take when you put your child on a flight unaccompanied. They should be thanking Virgin and reimbursing them with a babysitting wage.

Don’t worry Richard. I got your back. And so do the parents of the other children is seems.

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The Experts need to go

After six seasons of Married At First Sight, it baffles me the contestants still refer to their match makers as ‘The Experts’

After almost 50 weddings, I don’t think there is a single one we are yet to see survive.

Enter Jules and Cam. The unbreakable pair who we all adore.

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But I think it’s about time we re-brand ‘The Experts’ to perhaps something more accurate. ‘The rating boosters’ perhaps.

Especially when they say things like “The only hurdle for this one will be that Janice really wants children and Grant lost his penis in a gang fight.”

Or “The struggle here is that Hayley wanted someone who loves the beach, and Blake has a phobia of sands and all other grains.”

These aren’t hurdles. They are deal breakers.

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If Janice could get over the kids thing, think of all the other men she could have dated, or pursued a relationship with. And if Hayley was willing to date anyone who didn’t particularly love the outdoors, there are a hell of a lot more Tinder matches she might have had.

They may as well say “Let’s put Valerie and Sam together because he’s a hunter and hates vegans and has a stuffed dear collection and she’s not touched an animal product in nine years and is president of the Vegans are Life club.

“The viewers will love it.”

And bin their psychology degrees because they certainly aren’t using them.