How has Kim Jong Un got a wife, yet I’m still single?

I mean… I don’t brush my hair very often and I always burn toast.

But I never tried to dispatch missiles or launch a nuclear war on another country.

Must be the money thing.

Or she may have got sick of the lack of talent on Tinder and other sites.

Which is a scary thought because I’d like to think despite the minimal options (ok, zero. Zero options.) on dating sites I will never succumb to marrying a dictator.

A vegan, perhaps. But a Dictator… no thanks.

Although I like the idea of not being the disciplinarian when it comes to raising kids. But I don’t wanna be getting threatened with missiles if I burn the toast.

Back to the drawing board I guess.