Cat got your ox tongue?

If anyone’s ever watched My Kitchen Rules, I mean other than “that episode” where two grown women thought it was ok to start calling people clowns and blowfish, they would often see teams commenting on meals they have been served up by other contestants.

The comments are quite commonly along the lines of “We do a great tortellini at home, so we are expecting it to be pretty darn good plate of food.”

Or, “Our sweet potato puree is much better than this one, and we won’t be scoring very high for this dish.

But last night, Russian devils Olga and Valeria decided to serve up ‘Ox tongue in apple dough.’

Bravo.

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There was no “Our ox tongue is usually served with banana dough, so apple will be interesting.”

Or “The ox tongue my mum made when I was growing up always had plenty of sauce, otherwise it’s dry”

I mean, surely it’s pretty obvious its going to be dry regardless. A tongue without saliva is basically a fish out of water.

So, bravo girls, bravo. That shut them up.

And also, what the eff was anyone thinking when they decided it would be ok to eat ox tongue.

Innocent Apollo

My dear sweet Apollo.

This humble god like creature has finally arrived on Bachelor in Paradise.

When introduced, he was asked what season of Bachelorette he was from and how viewers might have remembered him.

“That bread stick moment,” he says.

No dear.

Viewers (and by viewers, I’m talking all the women in Australia), remember you because of your towering body- featuring none other then Mr 6-pack and a glorious tan, magical skills, genuine intentions and fun-loving personality.

What bread stick?

I realise only one image was necessary.

But I couldn’t choose.

It was like Sophie’s Choice.

They ain’t trolling for your selfies

Why are all the Facebook users in the world freaking out about this whole “hack” situation?

If your 1256 ‘friends’  know what you ate for breakfast, or your hurting after leg day, or what movie you’ve gone to see at the cinema, I think it’s ok the rest of the world knows too.

Everyones freaking out like theres been cameras installed in their showers, or like their Facebook cover photos are their bank account details.

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If you don’t want people to know about it, don’t post it on social media.

I don’t really think these hackers are after your baby’s first step videos.

If you want the privacy stay off of Facebook.

“But I need it to stay in touch with my friends,” People say. All 1256 of them apparently.

You know you can call people with a phone right? Just ask Siri. She’ll even do it for you.

Or how about stop flooding you’re own newsfeed with hourly updates of where you are, what you’re wearing, who you’re with and what you’re eating.

Regardless of whether you want the privacy or not, you should do that actually.

We don’t care and neither do the hackers.

 

Cyclists

It’s no secret Australia’s cyclists are killing it at the Commonwealth Games.

After years of swerving, screeching, 15km/h on highways and near misses they have wreaked upon the entire Country’s drivers over the years….

About time they gave something back.

Although I don’t think it’s worth the medals.

It much rather not almost kill one a day because they don’t know what “two abreast” means, and have the riders come last.

There are worse decisions

Quick back story here, a very shortened one.

In 2010, Sam Ballard, a 19-year-old strapping rugby player became disabled after swallowing a garden slug as a dare.

As a result (a super rare one), the teen contracted eosinophilic meningo-encephalitis, lapsed into a coma for 420 days and became a quadriplegic.

The family are now fighting the Government due to NDIS changes.

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They went to The Project with their story (obviously they snapped it up. Any opportunity to bag the Government involving a wheelchair’s a winner for any TV program I’d say.)

Since then however, they copped a lot of backlash on social media as other people have said the family should not receive support from NDIS as their son did a stupid thing and put himself in the wheelchair.

These haters seem to think their hard earned money shouldn’t go towards cases like this one.

Rough.

If it was their ‘stupid’  kid, pretty sure they wouldn’t be saying that.

How about all the single mothers that are on Centrelink support.

I mean, at least we know Sam didn’t know he would have become a quadriplegic if he swallowed the snail.

Who knows that?

Meanwhile I recall learning all about condoms and the pill when I was in primary school.

But it’s ok we are supporting these people who have also made decisions to have unprotected sex?

And that they know the consequences but did it anyway?

This family have been through a bloody tragedy, find someone else to hate on (might I suggest vegans and cyclists) and let them continue to live their lives with as much assistance they really do need.

Chill out Maccas

A guy took home the wrong order from a McDonalds Drive Thru and they called the police to go to his house, for a ‘criminal offence’?!

I mean, seriously?

Hello, HE WAS HANDED THE ORDER from the Macca’s staff.

They made the mistake, not him.

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How about next time, hire people over the age of 9 who know how to bag up a burger.

Or train the staff to read what’s ordered, and to work accordingly.

Or get over it.

The Police have better things to do. Like murder and stuff.