Teach them how to fold

Dear school curriculum writer people,

I have a bone to pick with you.

How is it that I completed high school, after 13 long years, dozens of detentions and thousands of dollars (thanks mum) and now moving forward into life, I do not know how to fold a fitted sheet or what private health cover is or how to break up with someone or how to wear a playsuit without exposing my genitalia.


I do know however the process of photosynthesis and that CO2 is the chemical symbol for carbon dioxide and how to write a haiku, all of which 10 years post-graduation I am still waiting to use.

You should see my linen cupboard right now though. 

It’s a smorgasbord of ruthless folding after spiralling my fitted sheets into balls.

And I didn’t know private health care was a thing until a put my back out (trying to fold a fitted sheet) and was thrown into physio and after forking out hundreds of dollars, quizzed by the receptionist who asks “Do you have private health?”

And “Well I wouldn’t brag about it on social media, if that’s what you mean,” was my response.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually broken up with someone face to face and well, I gave up on playsuits when I realised what sort of ‘playing’ they were for. Not my sort anyways, let’s leave it at that.

How about we toss a few core components of the curriculum and add in some life lessons that will save a lot of money and time and in some cases lives.

I mean, who the hell knows what to do if they come across a crocodile?

Or how about class 101 in Cyber Security. 

Teach them from early ages not to hand out their home addresses or skip states because 19 year old Freddy who is a Zac Efron look-a-like thinks you have nice eyes. 

And vice versa, teach them how to not become a creep. 

Stop the dick pics at the source. 

This whole new subject could replace, times tables for example.
And I’m curious; do kids still have spelling tests? Because as far as I’m concerned, the only word they need to know how to spell is google.

Fix it.

Regards,

Former graduate, Class of 2013. 

Ok 2007.

2003. Class of 2003.

2 thoughts on “Teach them how to fold

  1. Well, you seemed to have coped well so far Danni. Sure there are shortcomings in the system but it’s improved – I had to learn all the Kings/Queens of England from 1066 onwards!!! WTF. It did come in handy touring London – I knew who most of the statues were dedicated to!! Nevertheless, press for improvements that’s how they happen. You don’t need to know how to break up face to face, it’s all done on FB now and that’s acceptable I gather.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And how about a topic on superannuation…that would have been useful. Im now trying to gather the myriad of super accounts I collected up in my jump from employer to employer earlier in the piece. Let’s see if they haven’t all been dissolved due to adminstration fees….damn it.

    Liked by 1 person

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