General admission all the way

I don’t understand people that get seats at a concert.

What are they looking at from their chairs? 70 per cent of them are that far back that whatever is on stage resembles any clip from the movie Ants.

What do they do that whole time in tiny seats while live music is being played in front of them by professionals?

It’s not like a bar where you sit and drink and gossip with others. You can barely hear a sneeze at any concert, and the drinks selection is the worlds driest champagne, warm cider or light beer.

How can they just sit there drinking their warm champagne and watching Ants in a minuscule seat that they probably have to stand up every 3 minutes for to let others through?

And if that’s not enough, they actually pay anywhere between $70-$200 dollars for this.



Don’t they know what dancing is?


Don’t they know what spotify is? If you just want to listen, it’s a lot less hassle to download an app, or buy a CD. Expect when your phone won’t recognise your damn thumb print to approve the download, or you scratch your CD, or don’t own a CD player. Even these problems are much more easily overcome then…. you ready for this??

Dressing up, getting public transport or a cab, (or an Uber, but if your thumb print didn’t work for spotify, you won’t be downloading the Uber app either), queueing up to get through the doors, skulling your water that security believes may be chemically spiked to blow up the stage, as the security guard learns what size tampons you wear going through your purse, then having to pee after skulling your water and queuing up again to pee. Then you hit the bar another queue and $50 later, your queuing up again with plastic cups of warm champagne, to finally get to your chair after making a row of unimpressed people stand, to sit down and realise you can’t even see the stage and your drink is now empty.

My, what a great night out. (*insert emoji with half smirk-sarcastic face here)

They would have been better off getting a DVD and staying on their comfy couch, without queues and parking hassles and a bottle of cab sav.

Sounds like a pretty simple way to make a couple of hundred bucks if you ask me.

And option two: Dance. Like nobody’s watching. Because nobody is. That’s why they are at the concert.

Why pay $200 to watch others jump up and down when coldplay are metres away from you blasting out ‘Fix You’.

Just dance. Life advice at it’s best right there. #yourwelcome


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