It’s a match. Not a gold medal.

So for those of you who are not familiar with Tinder, and found love in high school or soon after and have been happily married ever since and have no doubt told the world through all aspects of social media seven times a day how in love they are with their life, just so you know, on the app when you get match with someone, a notification pops up that literally says “Congratulations! You have a match!”

I don’t know that the congratulations is necessary.

When you have men posting topless selfies and describing themselves as “great in bed” and others who just upload pictures with shotguns and dead deer and are already unattractive, I don’t think it’s a great achievement to be matched with them.

And that’s just to name a few….


Congratulations are not in order. Apologies however may be.

Even if I am 32. I think they should change the notification alert for the ages.

So for someone in their 20’s it would say “This guy thinks your hot and wants to hook up. Now.”

And in your 40’s it would say “It’s not too late! Somebody is interested!”

In your 50’s it might be “Have you tried eharmony or RSVP?”

And in your 60’s “Someone else knows how to use an iPhone”

I think they should save the ‘Congratulations’ remark for those in their 70’s.

It could say “Congratulations! We have found a penis that still works!”

The 30’s should say “We found someone who doesn’t care that you share the bed with your dog”

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Probably why I’m still single. In my defence, my pup makes me laugh, has never let me down, loves the beach and actually gets out of bed in the morning.

Breath could do with some freshening and he eats all my chips but I can live with that.

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