Our precious pollies

Today’s politicians sure do a lot of talking and promising. 

“Better health,” this and “Better education” that and “Greenhouse emissions,” this….


Do they know that it’s everyone over 18 that votes? Not just people who are married with kids, or people who are retired or people who are vegans.

And to be honest, the vegans would all be voting for the greens. 

They won’t be voting Labor or Liberal because they will get shunned from their vegan tribes and closed ‘we love life’ Facebook group. 

And those who are older, and married picked their preferred party in 1997.

People stick to what that know, and new promises are not going to make them sway.

What you want to be doing is getting the new voters, because once you have them, they are yours for life.

Try promising a National price drop on smashed avocado, or unlimited wifi in every city, or free cross fit memberships for every Australian citizen.


That’s how you win an election.

Nobody who has just turned 18 cares if they can save an extra $6 every time they go to the doctor. Or where their electricity is sourced from.

They live at home and they get sick once a year.

But they do have smashed avocado daily, after a work out at cross fit, before jumping on line to tell everyone about it.

Or better yet…just check your calendar and legalise gay marriage already. Prime Minister for life guaranteed right there. Until your fellow peers decide to throw someone else in, with their own decisions that they think it’s ok to make on behalf of all of Australia.

I should have been an election campaign manager.

I still can I guess. Mr Turnbull, you know where to find me. You are the government. Send your men and I’ll take $200,000 per annum.

And a tall, funny member of parliament who likes dogs and the North Queensland climate, and is willing to move for love.

Ok me. For me.

 

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