It sure was despicable

I took my niece to see Despicable Me 3 today.

I loved the first movie, and those minions are so funny. I was actually really excited about it to the point that I considered going alone because my niece is only three and may have gotten restless or made too much noise throughout the movie.

However…it was terrible. I laughed twice maybe. Just at the minions.

This movie has made almost $700 million to date. And it’s still going.


IMG_2239It frustrates me because what I think is happening here is that they are using all their good writers and production teams in the first movie, to establish the characters and make it hilarious for kids and adults.

There is a great plot in the first film, and plenty of jokes and minion banter that makes it entertaining for all ages.

I have never heard anyone say “I don’t like the minions.”

Not that its something that would generally come up in a conversation:

‘Suns out and shining today’.

‘Yea. I don’t like minions.’

My point is that these amazing film people make sure the kids will become obsessed with Gru and the minions, so that should these characters appear in anything else then they must see it.

Enter Despicable Me 2 and 3.

And enter the first year writers, camera interns and high school work experience directors.

Seriously. They just give up on trying to make it good, because they know that it could be about doing a poo in the toilet and kids will be flocking in to see it.

It’s the same for the Cars franchise. The second and third are terrible.

It’s just mean thing to do I think. Put more effort in! Its not fair for the adults to get excited and go along with the kids and then to have forked out all that money for a minion taking a dump.


The popcorn was better then the movie.

The weird thing is, the production budget has increased throughout the series. The first one was made with the lowest budget, and it increased for the second and third.


This ruins my theory.


My next one is that they are all in on it and decide to basically take it in turns to have holidays with half the budget whilst someone maintains ‘working’ and covering for the rest.



Big boss man: “Can i take to the director mate?”

Camera Operator:”Agh he’s just gone to the bathroom.”

Big boss man:”Ok geez. Again. He was there when I rang yesterday too,

“No wonder the scene I’m looking at now for the movie has a minion on the toilet,”

But seriously… put some effort in Hollywood. You have the resources. Take your holidays after with the $700 million you make from disappointed people.

Despicable Hollywood. Just Despicable.

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