Oh so lonely

There is an app called duck or llama. And what you literally do is scroll through a series of photos and select whether the image is a duck, or a llama.

I’m not even joking.

But how is there an app for this, yet there is not an app to make friends?

Who sat down and went…what does the world need? To know the difference between a llama and a duck? Or to be able to socialise once they move states and begin a new life in a brand new city?

The llama and duck thing. Definitely.

How will anyone benefit from this?

‘Remember that time you thought a llama was a duck, and then you got hit by a car?

‘Remember that time you burned down your house because there was a duck that you thought was a llama?

Not likely. I’ll tell you what is likely. Moving states and spending a whole LONG weekend sober because you have no friends to drink with.

I need friends up here. It’s the Sunday of a long weekend and it’s just not the same drinking alone.

So I’ve decided to head to my local bar, that has live music and my plan is to sit there and constantly check my phone and my wrist (I actually went out and bought a watch just for this experiment) and make it look like I’ve been stood up.

Practicing my oh so sad face at home with some pre drinks. Cheapest watch I could find. Don’t judge. Everyone likes a dolphin or two.


Then, I will make eye contact with a friendly looking male who has plenty of people around him. I’m not looking for hook up, but rather a hook in…to a group of people.


The next step will be to watch his drinking level and match it so that we get to the end of out drinks at the same time. Then we get to the bar at the same time. Then he lets me go before him for service to which I say, ‘Well…that’s nice especially considering I got stood up *sob*’



And then boom… he asks me to come and join him and his friends which are a fun looking group males and females who are not 12 and have covered midriffs and jugs of cider.

The only way this could backfire…if this male comes on to me. In which case I’ll drop my ‘I’m a scientologist’ line.

Click here if you don’t know what I’m talking about.

Wish me luck.

Ps…Billion dollar app idea…Find me friends.

You’re welcome and I expect a free download and 40% of all profits.

4 thoughts on “Oh so lonely

  1. Try Bumble! I’m not gutsy enough to follow through but I did come across a bunch of normal looking people on it when I first moved to Adelaide x

    Liked by 1 person

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