Pollies…why everyone so mean to you?

This one may be a long one.

It was all over the news today that politicians can retire at age 55 and their pension is like crazy high, allowing them to live in complete luxury, basically forever.

So. Here’s what I think.

Obviously, the majority of people are like,’What the eff. How is that fair? Most of them are only politicians for about six years even. Other people work their asses off all their lives and what are our perks? We get to retire (maybe…) around 65-70 and live off around $20,000 a year and maggi noodles (this would be ok with me). Not cool Australian Government money distribution people. Not cool.’


Life is unfair. It’s the perks of the job. Yes, they retire 10 years early and earn thousands more but hello, this is not new information.

What about the perks of all the other jobs? Flight attendants and pilots basically travel for free, Disneyland employees probably ride the Matterhorn daily without queuing up, retailers get huge discounts of their own stock, Farmers get free oats and grains…..

But more importantly, anyone can be a Politician. If you want to retire at 55 and live in hotels and limos for the remainder of your life then be one.Airport-Limo-transfer-for-Las-Vegas-McCarran-Airport.jpg

We are fortunate enough today to live in a society where high school scores are just a number and an excuse to win school DUX (what does this even mean or stand for??)

Anyone can achieve anything. Online learning, external universities, skype workshops, planes, trains and automobiles people!

Stop complaining about the perks of being a Politician and become one!

And whats more… people look at the criteria that may require a law degree, internships, owning practices, community service, financial knowledge, etc.

And they go, ok nah. I can’t be bothered with all that. So it’s only fair that the people that can be bothered spending years at university and working their asses off get some perks on the job.

Plus, did we forget….POLITICS IS SO BORING! Why would you want to sit in a room of tuxed up, balding and opinionated people arguing about whether medicare should introduce an additional levy for patients with no dependents when there are others out on the beach teaching people how to surf, or at a zoo feeding giraffes.

And also, if a politician goes out, he’s going to some fancy schmancy high class restaurant where your in heels and a cocktail dress drinking a $26 martini before idling over some minute portion of truffle coated lobster parfait and engaging in small talk, probably about the medicare levy.

If a surf instructor or a giraffe feeder (I know this is probably not actually a job btw, but for the case of my argument) goes out, they put on some jeans, head to a bar, down a couple of ciders and smash a burger with all the toppings (I’m talking beetroot, egg, pineapple) and then watched a local talented duo bust some great tunes.

So who would you rather be? The polli or the giraffe feeder??

My next career aspiration. 

Bottom line, anyone who wants to retire at the age of 55 and have unlimited funds for the remainder of their lives can.

But nobody wants to.

Because we all like a giraffe and a cider here and there.

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