A little bit racist….

When your Sri Lankan neighbour bangs on your door 3 times a day, and you finally lose your shit and open the door, ready to yell something not nice and he is standing there holding 3 plates of home cooked food for you and a ‘friend’.

And he know’s there is no ‘friend’ so you have to invite him in. And then he makes a point of saying there is food for two because he thought I had ‘friend’ and that he does not know what he is doing for dinner that night.

So he is in your house, there is dinner there that he has cooked and its for two people and there are two of you. Oh and its 7pm.  And then he makes a point of giving you his WIFI password as well because his house is literally behind me.

And you realise that you don’t have a washing machine and he probably does.

And he is the closest thing you will get to Indian Take Away in this tiny town.

“Yes, please stay and lets eat dinner together”.

Im only human.

This day…. No thanks.

So I spent all day today in an office with five people who barely said anything to anyone. 

I know they don’t know me very well, because I’m new, but they do know each other. 

A lady rang in enquiring about someone who had been in our death notices recently. She wanted to know where he grew up. 

She was obviously just trying to work out if it was the John Smith she thought it was. (Just to clarify, it was not actually that name, but it was something super common). I passed on the call to our classifieds manager and she helped her by mentioning where he grew up and his DOB and then handed the phone back to me. 

She then mentioned out loud “That was strange. I don’t know why she wanted to know who he was?”

I responded “She said something about not being able to tell him that he had fathered three of her children I think. So I guess thats a bit rough”

She just looked up at me astonished. “What?!”

Hahaha made me laugh. This is the environment I was used to!

But I have to come to terms with moving from one industry to another.

Welcome to print journalism… where it’s all work and no play in the newsroom.

Enter Danni.

It’s early days. There will be fun and laughter to come if I have anything to do with it. Once I’ve worked out how to actually do my job. Better sort that first.

My last minute shot at an attempt to resemble a serious journo for an article introducing me to my new country town. If you look closely you may notice that the papers I’m ‘writing’ on are my besties travel  documents. And her washing is in the background as well. Im a journalist, not a photographer. 

Moving to the country.

I am now a journalist. I had been applying for like six months. Got nothing. Then suddenly, BOOM…three offers in one week. Seriously.

And the shit thing is, that I took the first one… but it is probably the most dull.

So I am now living in the country, and have upped a population of 2700 by one.

I joined the local netball team, although I have never played in my life.

And I have found a coffee shop that has barista coffee.

Life is good. Life is simple.13692525_10153858527918380_1917908667650982026_n

There are no organic cafes that only serve almond milk and kale, no cross fit clubs that charge $80 so you can jump for 30 minutes, no high end shopping strips that you need a Mimco phone cover to enter without judgment and no clubs that have you queueing up for 45 minutes and then slug you $20 to go in and pay another $18 for a beer.

These people are all about people. They walk, they talk, they drink and they play. There are horses next door and everything I’m surrounded by is green and blue.



So far so good….


Until I need something from K-Mart. Or a sugar free cruiser. Then I’m screwed. Stay tuned.

Fast Post #7

How do you google how to spell something?

Because technically, if you google how to spell anything, the way you google is is the way it is spelt.

Like if you google ‘how do you spell fase?’ for example.

How does google know that you mean face and that there isn’t a word such as fase.

What is there is such a word as fase, so you never find out??

Anyways…. Just a thought.

Fast Post #6

I was watching Good Chef Bad Chef today. Just to clarify, it was purely because I was on my lunch break and stuck indoors due to the hail storm outside. My only other options were that retarded briefcase show or RPA (not good when your eating.)

The woman made a dip out of macadamia nuts and oil. Bravo. Putting 2 things in a blender and pushing a button. ‘Lets give her a TV show’ Channel 10 said.

But she finished up by stating how clever she was because ‘you don’t need to spend all your money on buying dip’.

Has this women ever been shopping? I bought some delicious olive dip yesterday for $2.95.

It costs $8.00 MINIMUM for a bag of macadamias.


Anyone for a Date??

I think it’s time to start dating.

A single Personal Trainer at work was just making idle chit chat with me and asked if I was single, to which I responded:

Yes. I am single. Why… Do you want to have kids…..?

But seriously. It was this poor guys first day on the job. He was 20.

If I wasn’t such a creep, maybe I would have found a husband by now.



Excuses excuses..

Did you ever go somewhere and want to leave, but feel like you needed an excuse to leave?

Like ok.obviously if its work, or another important commitment, you will need an excuse. Like an illness or family emergency. Side note; how is it that when a parent has a sick child and has to leave, its totally fine and never questioned. But if I’m sick, I need to have a doctors certificate and answer 20 questions….

But anyway, back to my point. If I pop in to pick something up from Mum for example, I’ll stay for a quick chat and then if I tell her I’m leaving, I always get; “why? where are you going?”

Is it not enough that I just don’t want to stay? That I get two days off a week and I was looking forward to sitting on my couch and watching My Kitchen Rules. That I just want to go do other things, like put my washing on, watch the sunset, make some ice cream.

If I came at her with these reasons for leaving, they wouldn’t be enough. It wouldn’t be enough for anyone. If I popped into the pub because a work mate was having a farwell and I tried to leave I can’t tell them I’m leaving because I want to go watch the sunset.

People just like to do other things. And everyone else takes it way to personally. Just because I want to be on my couch, does not mean that I don’t like you, or that I don’t value your presence or enjoy spending time with you. It just means that I want to be on my couch!

If I didn’t like you then I never would have made the effort to catch you in the first place.

When I go to social gatherings and then try to leave, it’s so frustrating when I get attacked and inundated with questions and sarcastic remarks.

“Oh, got somewhere more important to be?”

“Too good for us are you?”

“What else do you have to do today?”

“Don’t go! I though we were friends!”

Hello…..I CAME IN THE FIRST PLACE DIDN’T I! Yes, we are friends. No I’m not too good for you. And I don’t have anything else to do today…that’s the point! I want to go enjoy having nothing else to do. On my couch. With homemade icecream.

And the only exception to this, is if I’ve rocked up purely for the sake of a bar tab. Which I’m not proud of, but as an alcoholic, this is generally beyond my control.

But once again….that precious society gets me everytime. Stop being so precious and taking everything so damn personally. Have some self confidence. Because at the end of the day, if that person thinks they are too good to spend time with you, then let them go!!Their loss!