So heres what I do.

So it may be of use for you all to know what I actually do for work right now. Just because I plan to whinge and discuss my everyday encounters with all the splendid and not so splendid people in this world. I work at a gym. No I am not a Personal Trainer. Partly because of my alcohol problem, but also because I’m not an arrogant, mirror loving, protein hungry twat.

My opinion of Personal Trainers is not based on the fact that two of my ex’s happen to be PTs (ok that might make me a bit bias, but its not the whole reason). Its more so based on the fact that I’ve worked at a large chain, across several clubs and nine out of 10 of these PT’s are just that of my description.

And I may have been one of them earlier in life. I did the course (which mind you, is 8 weeks long and like $5000. Thats it. 8 weeks, then off you go. Go play with people backs and post natal women and athletes quads). It’s funny, because not once in the eight weeks do they mention uploading copious amounts of selfies whilst training and constantly updating your facebook status to make it clear to everyone that you are at the gym. And not once do they mention how insecure the job can actually be, financially. So after the course I realised I was not a sales person. That’s all they are. Sales people. Who diet every second day, have cheat days on every other day and talk reps and pre-workout all day everyday.

Which leads me into the next role, the membership consultant. I am also not one of these. These money hungry, dodgy, lying, manipulating gym junkies. They work for the reputation and the free memberships. They thrive on sales and rewards and the only way to achieve the highest result possible is to make up new rules to every possible joiner who may enter the gym. Theres never ‘one day only’ or ‘joining fees’. If they quote you a price, it will be available all day every day. And what they won’t tell you are all the things you need to know once you are a member. Like how to use a treadmill. Or where the change rooms are.

Its similar to the Personal Training Course. They don’t tell you what you need to know once you re actually a qualified trainer. That you never ever have job security. That you have to pay ridiculous fees to work out of a gym. That you have to work for free for pretty much a whole year before you begin to earn any money. And not even then will you have job security. Once you join a gym, we forget all about you. If you don’t train, we don’t care. If you go away for 6 months, or break your leg, we don’t care. You still pay. And you must pay for 12 whole months. Not once will a membership consultant mention this.

Listen to me whinge and I have not even told you my role yet!

Ive gone on enough for today. So to be continued… Because I need to get dinner on!

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