Life is…to be lived.

So this week I’ve been having a “what am I doing with my life week”.

I think its because i have now paid off my car. Yes I am the proud owner of a Mazda 3 sedan (has a few scrapes and dents, but how else will I know its mine, right). So I no longer have any financial commitments. I’m not locked in to a rental agreement, I have no dependants, I am completely free. I definitely have no room for career progression in my current role, mainly because I don’t want it and I snap at members who don’t understand the concept of a contract. But also because I still don’t really know what I want to do, career wise.

I want to help people, I want to make people smile, I want to change lives. How does one achieve this?

The obvious answer that I actually contemplated, med school. Ive checked out what the requirements are. It would be tough, but it is achievable. But then I started picturing myself working in a practice and having to do pap smears and mole checks on all sorts of people. Not only does this disgust me, but I hate looking for things as well. I don’t want to look for moles or cancer. If I’m going to look for anything it should only be my keys, or my wine. (Never both in one day. I don’t drink drive, because the thought of being a cop is also on the cards. They also help people. I did try to join the force. But it seems they do not have a sense of humour. I will explain this later)

So the next thought was saving $10000, jumping in my Mazda with a hoodie and a bag of skittles and driving north until I found a place where I could work and live. Because one thing I do know is that I want to move to Queensland. Good plan? For a 30 year old? Ok, maybe not. I just figured, $10000 is a lot of money to cover my alcohol and bedding requirements for at least a few months. But my anxiety made me think of the worst case scenario, in that if I don’t find work and end up back in Adelaide with my parents I would be really depressed. And we can’t have that. The best case scenario however would have been falling in love with the local vet at a coastal town where we can get married and can spend my days writing and baking and housing injured and unwanted animals. But i feel like this scenario is much less likely then the worst case, which has forced me to act my age and consider my final option.

So. I’m going to start a business. Why? Because I can! Because I want to answer to myself and make all my decisions and reap all my profits and hard work. So I wondered into a bank the day I decided

I don’t know how the poor Indian consultant did not laugh at me when I basically told him my idea, and that I was single, would be unemployed at the time and had no equity and asked for $400,000. But, the fact remains, IT IS POSSIBLE.

The only way it is impossible is if I don’t try.

It won’t be easy, but I am doing it. So watch this space.

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